Sexual Diversity

g0y, not gay

Some suggest that the g0y phenomenon arose in the groups of skaters and surfers.
Photo: Bromance, by Todd F Niemand, used with CC BY-NC 2.0 / resized and optimized.

Some years ago I read an article explaining briefly what g0y men were. Even though I thought homoerotic relationships between heterosexual boys were more common than it is supposed, it surprised me. Wow! This word remained a pending entry in our LGBT Glossary until now, when the time has come to devote the g0y issue with the development and greater depth it needs. In this post, you will find general information on the subject, classification within sexual diversity, ideas on which it is based, its main characteristics, and finally, my opinion concerning some quite controversial things that I have read. It is good to say that there may be g0ys that do not identify themselves or agree about everything you are going to read next.

g0y (g-zero-y)

The expression g0y (g-zero-y) appeared around 2005 in the United States to name the man who, regardless of his sexual orientation (homo, hetero or bi), has erotic-affective relationships with men in which the anal sex is excluded. This extends to their wives, girlfriends or female sexual partners. Zero with the anus. The g0y phenomenon has had a great development in Brazil, where we can find groups, bars, and private parties attended by couples and marriages, single men, and the occasional single woman. Judging by the photos, they are having good time. It is like swinger encounters where males have contact with each other.

Yeah, well. But what is this g0y?

Goy, g-zero-epsilon and the related terms of heterog0y, heteroflex, soft-bi and bromance could be categorized, in essence, as sexual behaviors, more specifically within the homosexual behavior, since we are talking about erotic experiences with people of the same sex.

The classification of g0y

However, this taxonomy falls short to explain this phenomenon. We could characterize it as a kind of “paraphilical identification” because these people create a new identity from their sexual tastes (philias), which allows them to group, meet and claim themselves.

The philia

G0y would fit perfectly into androphilia, which is described, according to Wikipedia, the aesthetic, affective and non-exclusive sexual attraction, towards the male. The desire and admiration for the aesthetically beautiful, good, and virtuous manly qualities, for men or masculinity; preserving its state of virility and maintaining a completely masculine behavior.

The identification

The g0ys also have their flag. It relates blue with masculinity.

G0y also has a strong identity aspect, at the level of Bears. The g0ys are a group, a collective, a social phenomenon that tends to be self-defined, which differs from gay people and, in general, from the LGBT + community with which they do not feel identified. I AM NOT gay, I AM g0y!

The g0y phenomenon could remain as a manifestation of the sexual flexibility of men. However, on the reference websites we find a kind of “cultural aggregates” with which they claim their existence and the naturalness of their approaches.

The cultural aggregates of g0y

We understand as cultural aggregates all those ideas that exist before the emergence of the g0y phenomenon, which they incorporated in their identity ideals and that base their place in the world. Next, we will deal with those that seem important to us, without valuing their correction.

Religion

For g0ys, there is no rejection of the erotic and affective relationships between men in the sacred texts. Only anal intercourse is condemned and prohibited (as we discussed extensively in our article on Leviticus). And not only this but in several passages of the Bible there is talk of homo-erotic friendships, for example, that of Jonathan and King David, as expressed in the famous sentence: “Your love was more wonderful to me than the love of women.” Therefore, God does not disapprove of the g0ys and the different churches and faiths should accept them.

Classical Greece

As we have been able to read on the g0y reference websites, they interpret that erotic-affective relationships between men were normalized and that anal intercourse was not practiced frequently in the classical Greece period. With this, g0ys give a millenary, romantic, and even ideal background to their theoretical approach.

Masculinity

The g0y ideology is binary and exclusive, so masculinity is somewhat hermetic and not permeable to femininity. They appreciate the feminine, but separate from the masculine. Virility is an ideal, a value that must be scrupulously respected, and the area in which their erotic-affective relationships develop. They reject male effeminacy, and believe that anal sex corrupts the manhood of both the penetrator and the receiver, who behaves in a feminine way as receiver of the penis. The g0y understand the affective and sexual relationship with another man as a fraternal friendship between equals, so the top and bottom roles imply the destruction of this equality since gay intercourse establishes dominant and dominated roles.

Anal intercourse

According to g0ys, anal sex is dangerous. The anus and rectum are the perfect environment for the development and spread of sexually transmitted diseases, and 95% of STDs are avoided if gay intercourse is avoided. The anus and the rectal canal are not genital organs, so they do not provide pleasure. Homosexual coitus only satisfies the top, and only provides pain and a minimum pleasant sensation to the bottom. Besides, gay people are obsessed with the ass, and we think that if there is no penetration, there is no real sex. Fucking the asshole is dirty, degrading and not masculine.

Concreting g0y

All these chosen on-demand elements are specified in ideas, which sometimes become slogans, among which we highlight the following:

· Although g0y self-identify with the traditional labels, hetero, homo, and bi, they claim the overcoming of these, simply defining themselves as MEN.

· The homoerotic relationships of g0ys are not just sex, they go much further. Their relationship is named “bromance” (brother + romance), a fraternal and intimate bond, of trust and admiration, in which loyalty and fidelity are important values, and promiscuity is excluded. The goal is to live all your life with one partner, if possible.

· Sex arises naturally from trust and intimacy, which takes time.

· G0y’s quintessential sexual practice is Frot or Frottage, which consists of rubbing one penis with the other, “genital to genital, chest to chest, heart to heart.” Jerk off, blowjob, petting, kisses, fighting, as well as any activity that does not focus on the anus and further inside, can also be a part of their behavior.

· Fellatio is allowed and accepted. Nevertheless, many g0ys do not suck it, but do not see any inconvenience in a man sucking them. Although there are no demands, and there should not be, we can find: “If I have given you a blow job, you owe me one.”

· G0y is not a sexual orientation, but it is a masculine and natural behavior among men, which does not prevent sex with women.

· The anus is not a vagina.

· Marriage is between man and woman. Although there are homosexual men in the groups, their goal is not to find a partner or to marry, but it is a deep and intimate friendship, a space of trust and absolute loyalty in which there can be sex or not.

· The g0y must have a healthy lifestyle, exercise and, keep his body fit to get and keep a partner for life. You offer what you receive. Being healthy and being physically attractive is a reflection of male values, work, effort, perseverance, selflessness…

· Absolute rejection of femininity in a man. Transvestism, and female attitude and behaviors are out.

· In some groups, homophobia is prohibited, however comments against what they call “gay lifestyle” are very negative and stereotyped.

G0y from outside

The g0y man is quite interesting as a sexually diverse phenomenon. On the one hand, it reveals a reality already pointed out by many studies on sex, that men have a plastic, flexible sexuality that dissolves homo-hetero labels. Another relevant point is the one that refers to masculinity since it shows that gender expression is a social construction, in which characteristics enter and leave according to the moment and place. For the g0ys, eroticism with a boy, within its norms, is a totally masculine and virile act. Equally interesting is the polyamorous side of the g0y since he loves his wife and also his buddy.

We have, therefore, a self-defined MAN, with a girlfriend or wife, who likes males, but who does not identify with the traditional categories gay or bi, since they carry a series of characteristics for which he feels a deep rejection. These coincide with those socially attributed to homosexual men, effeminacy, anal sex, new family models, promiscuity and disease transmission. This man is very clear about his role in society and what his obligations, work, and family are. Despite this, as it happened millennia ago, he aspires to have that “companion of arms” to take care of him and to care for, to tell him the greatest intimacies, in a masculine, loyal and faithful environment. A woman, a partner, without being excluded, cannot provide these things.

Thus we have a new label, a recent category of man, which serves g0y to identify, group, and search themselves. The problem is that, as opposed to what happened and occurs yet with the other non-heteronormative sexualities, which are all of them under the LGBT + collective, the g0y distinguishes and differentiates himself by criticizing and rejecting the others using false and outdated arguments, which fully coincide with that of homophobia.

The g0y wants his fit in Society and has self-modeled in its image and likeness. He is attracted to some men, although, Hey! I am not effeminate, I am not promiscuous, I do not practice disgusting anal sex, I do not spread diseases. I am looking for and, I have emotional and erotic relationships with males, but without being the horrible person that the gay man is. Besides, there have always been boys like that, masculine, honest, loyal, faithful, discreet, attractive, who have remained hidden since the end of classical Greece. I am not that gay whom you despise and I despise too, I am the same as you, and many like you will end up being like me.

As the gay I am, I see a guy who wants to have sex with both sexes, and It’s perfect. A guy who dislikes anal intercourse either top or bottom, and it’s okay; a guy who is masculine, who likes masculinity and masculine boys, and this is good. A guy with a romantic vision of The classical Greece, who likes fraternity and camaraderie, who is interesting; who not only seeks sex, but a relationship of friendship at the same level as love, and if it could last a lifetime, and it is magnificent!; who likes healthy, fit men, fat-free, gym bodies, and I find this great! Hurray and double hurray for you! But you do not need to attack gays or encourage the negative vision that society has of us to get what you want. That will not help you get a social acceptance or your place in the world.

The people who define ourselves as gay, are men who feel an emotional and erotic inclination for people of our same gender. End of story. Within this category, there is great variability of expressions, attitudes, and behaviors, all good and wonderful, among which we can choose the one we like the most in each moment. The LGBT + community defends and protects sexual diversity, and to do this, it does not need to criticize anyone’s sexuality or rely on traditional hoaxes and false ideas. The LGBT + collective values difference. Within the g0y associations, I remember, the Mattachine Society, which defended the rights of homosexual men and women from heteronormative mimicry. They did not convince homophobic societies or the people involved.

G0ys men of the world, you want to claim a different masculinity to be accepted in a society that is heteronormative and, therefore, will never accept you. For said society, you can end up being unfaithful cocksuckers to your wives. Or be the type of man to avoid, who begins massaging the thigh of his gym partner to but ends up massaging the cock of others, usually after a night of partying and with some extra alcohol. All that ideology that you have created will not help you when you are the talk of the gym, the neighborhood, or the university, when you are the object of criticism and mockery of those who understand that different is not good. G0y man, call yourself what you want, but bear in mind that the fight for sexual diversity unites us all.

Love

Final translation by Ruth Carballo Gallego.
Reference Webs:
· G0ys.org
· The man2man alliance
· Hetero g0y
Bars and private parties:
· Confraria Heterogoy
· GØY House
Facebook groups and pages:
· G0y Guys Page
· The Frot Connection
· Frot Brotha (OUTERCOURSE)
· G0y Philosophy